Why CEO’s don’t blog - are you mad?

Kiruba bemoans in BS – why CEOs don’t blog?

He cites reasons like fears of blurting their hearts out, reprisals by readers to simple strapped for time.  Those as appear on the surface.  Not all are Lou Gerstners and Jack Welches.  Don’t even come a thousand miles close.

Let me amplify. How did he miss out on the typical CEO fear – of exposure of personal inadequacies, inferior intellect, analytical skills. Many CEOs run on the steam of excellent teammates. Individually they shine in the reflected glow of star teams.  Most are bad articulators. Many are great pretenders that lucked out and just get by.

Yet another reason is their priorities. A professional CEO is bent on spending 3-4 years in a company, appear in the media on some silly pretext (boss’s day out? It’s ok even if it means having to walk with an androgynous, plain chested, walking stick of a reporter appearing to play Golf) and wait for the head hunter to show up with the next nest to perch, next bunch of shareholders to con.  Who wants to blog? Why bother (and run into trouble)? 

CEO spends about a couple decades like this and move into (what else?) Private Equity firms.  Where you can squander other people’s money and get paid - generously.  Those that are destined to be team members slug it out, wilting and brooding over their lost opportunities that get usurped serially by the lousiest of the lot that just happened to be the luckiest bastard in town!

Getting “Lovemarks”

Kevin Roberts, CEO of Saatchi & Saatchi zigs when others zag.  No one knows what he’ll do next. 

The legend has it that while during a presentation in Canada, he took a machine gun and blew up a coke vending machine to prove to his employees and bottlers that Pepsi can go past Coke!  He is also the author of the book Sisomo – that is about Sight, Sound and Motion.  He is credited with coining a brand attribute – loyalty beyond reason – that he famously called “Lovemarks”.

Some gems from this K@W interview –

“Yoshi Suzuka, who ran Toyota for a decade, said to me 10 years ago, “Kevin, you will never know more about cars than Toyota — and we will never know more about the people who buy them than Saatchi & Saatchi.”

Companies like us now have to become very, very close to consumers. That’s complex because every consumer is different. So the whole mass reach and scale thing is gone. It’s complex because information and knowledge are now pure and simple table stakes. You will send the MBAs out of here. They will be fully equipped with information. They will be very knowledgeable about how to use it. Harvard will do the same, Stanford will do the same … they will focus very hard on information and knowledge.

What will win in our world is using those vital table stakes quickly, but then developing insight and foresight. You can’t get insight and foresight from data and from analysis. If you want to know a hell of a lot about lions, you better go to the jungle and not to the zoo. So, you’ve got to figure out how you can empathetically have the insight into consumer behavior and then have the creative foresight to do something about that before the competition. [Steve] Jobs and his folks are very empathetic.”

You can’t get much better than that!

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How to screw a virgin

I never give in to spam mails or TV commercials.  I zap’em all in one swoop.  I chuckle at the  ad spend that just got wasted and feel pleased with myself for being completely in charge, right on top. 

If I were a brand, my tagline will be – “Don’t sell me stuff; make me buy”!

But the whole world wants to market or sell stuff to folks like me because it is hard to get us to buy!  I recently came across a bunch of young entrepreneurs with little or no marketing budget.  Being the cheapest and with scope for a decent outreach, they had zeroed in on viral online marketing.  I told them how I loath spam mails and how much I like an unchoked inbox. I told them about my tagline too and in an instant they were staring down a pest.  But it got them thinking seriously since they badly needed orders.  Soon they were busy figuring how to sell to these eclectic if not elitist, spam zappers.

So, how to screw a virgin? 

Rape is impossible within the confines of her inbox. She calls the shots in there where she is free to open, save or zap mails.  Marketers can at best land a message and forget about it.  Ah, messages can be followed up over phone.  But calls cost and budgets rule, don’t they?

Then I read this piece by Kim snyder on getting the most out of email marketing.  Interesting spin.

[Got here because of title?  Silly you!  Fools die ]

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Tackling tardiness

Fellow blogger and friend Vijay Anand, Founder of Proto.in wants firm answers.  I gave my take under comments to that post.

At times, especially when you have few choices, creepy `Yes’ is far better than swift `No’.   It depends on who is vacillating.  If it’s the seeker (say, a founder looking for funds) that is dithering, it means (s)he’s got choices.  But don’t juggle too many balls because you could end up dropping all of them.

If it’s the provider (Angels, VC, Banks), then (s)he is probably looking for better terms.  That means room for negotiation.  Pick up the slack and ask them “what more do you think we should be doing?”  Revisit the deal, give it a makeover and call on them again.  You could be in for pleasant surprises…

Some are grumpy and procrastinating by nature. Bitching people’s ways don’t get us anywhere. There’s not much that we can do about it unless we are in the business of changing DNA structures. We want to use their resources, don’t we? So exploit them to our advantage. Find the best way to do just that.

Recognize that tardiness is the format of their decision process.  Yes, No, May be are different steps that eventually would lead them to finally say yes OR no.  Be in touch with them and on top of their mind, but never interrupt their process.  That way you betray desperation and will make them dither more, in search of better bargains. Sometimes it might rattle them and they will down the shutters in a huff. You want neither.  A firm, though delayed `Yes’ is all you would settle for, don’t you…?  So focus on that goal, not why some people are assholes!

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What ails Indian Startups…

I often hear startup entrepreneurs ranting about VCs not funding their idea.  They point to Silicon Valley ecosystem and say the VCs out there took large bets on young upstarts and that’s how they got a Google, Amazon or Apple (alternatively their founders Larry/Sergie, Jeff Bezos, Steve Jobs in that order).

They also go on liberally about how Startups in India are done for money and not for passion (I am yet to see someone settling for “Nirvana” and not prosperity – anywhere in the world), Media is poor, dearth for good teams, VCs bet only on sure things and how they have no reality perspective etc…

Does that mean startups have no future in India? I say, look to the past.  You’ll get all the insights.

Imagine the India before the VCs came trooping in. There were entrepreneurs around even then. No, I am not referring to the famed Tatas, Birlas, Ambanis – I think of the millions of kiranawallas (local shop owners, general stores, sweet shops, caterers, informal event managers) that qualified far better as startups and never griped about lack of an outside investor to fund their ideas !  Several of them made it, quite a few of them may have bitten dust too.  They all had ideas, no teams, no investors – but they stood out by betting the farm (or whatever in its place), started small, settled for a street side shack (where they also slept in), kept shops open from 9.00 am to 11.00 p.m and the whole family ran errands.  One thing that never probably crossed their minds had been valuations, and all the illusions and assumptions that come with it. They just worried about stocking up enough to serve the customers the next day. Period. 

While it’s good to expect VCs to get a reality perspective, startup entrepreneurs too can do some introspection and figure out a way how not to imagine being a Bill Gates, Larry Ellison, Steve Jobs and start thinking like a Harishbhai, Chandulal or a Kesavan nair - even as you work on something like a Google, Amazon or Oracle.  Having the right local values, (we have it by the ton) is important - if you want to make it.

So, let’s talk of `localisation’ of startup minds - for a change.  If not, just shut up and stop being livid.  I for one think, this is the best of times for Indian entrepreneurs. We never had it so good. If you can’t make it now, you’re never gonna make it. Argue with me at your own risk….

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Wedded to the last minute

My channel partner in the US drives a lot of deals my way.  In return, I kick him back a neat slice out of my revenues and the experience has been fulfilling (Trevor, hope you feel that way too !). 

But of late, he wants me to hop on to a major “bRandwagon” to increase the visibility of our service offerings.  Not that I am against that idea, but then I fear losing my unique advantage of offering the full spectrum of Investment Banking services at a fourth of the cost charged by Deloitte or E&Y.  I now have the liberty of focusing on smaller niche clients in need of quality due diligence, valuation and M&A services within $5 MM -$25MM range, that the Big Four will not even care to look at.  Thank you, Big Four !  Your crumbs are my full meal… 

The worry I have with branding is I should not end up enlarging my profile and end up intimidating my potential clients that are usually expansion stage.  Trevor somehow feels that it won’t.  The going is good now and I don’t want a slower deal flow.  I operate from India and despite the Dollar turning a dog, my margins come through.  The advantage of doing business from India is exactly that, you can always find a cheaper vendor.  If you are good at oversight, you can get the world’s best quality too.  I prepare all templates and give them precise mandates for execution. It yields me fantastic results and my clients keep coming back. What more do I need?    

So why board the bRandwagon?  I employ my pet theory here. Procrastinate, of course.

I know a client of mine bought over $15,000 of software in the past two years to help him with his computer, 80% of it is still unopened and or unused when I last checked. It might help if he started by removing the software kit from its packaging.

The world, I guess is just teeming with procrastinators. Some delay important surgery. Some people hold off on taking courses or changing jobs. Others delay household chores or washing their cars. Some even hold off on getting born (That was me. Sorry Mom.). I am slightly better, I don’t put off my car wash. Lucky that way, it just costs me $ 4 a month (yes, the digit 4, not a typo) and my driver costs me under $ 160 a month, and only he can manage that insane traffic.  I love this India advantage. 

I am beginning to realize it’s helping me in getting rid off my worries. This art of resting the mind and the power of dismissing from it all care and worry is probably one of the secrets of energy in our great men. So I keep harking on time zones and tell myself - don’t worry about the world coming to an end today, it’s already tomorrow in Australia.  

Anyway, master procrastinators are rarely appreciated. When you can’t handle events, just let them handle themselves.  Believe me, they do a damn good job.  My advise for people who are always anticipating trouble – don’t hurry to worry.  If you do, you manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really would happen to you.

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Getting there

For quite several years, children have been told the story of the tortoise and the hare from Aesop’s fables.  For some reason, I reckon, it kept coming to my mind when I started my business. The way the hare gets a big lead on the tortoise, grows overconfident and takes a nap. The tortoise wins the race because it keeps trudging along.  The more I think about it, newer moral dimensions I get out of it.  It helped me a lot; I guess it helps you too.

In real life, hares survive only if they can outrun the animals that eat them, which are also very fast. Sprinting means survival. Naps are suicidal. Hares do not take naps in races.

Why do we tell that story to our children? To comfort slow learners, which most children are? I think the story misleads children. It assumes the race is between a hare and a tortoise. It isn’t. It is a three-way race: Hares that pay attention to the race, hares that don’t, and tortoises.

The winners in life are the hares that pay attention to the race. Tortoises lose. They rarely get eaten, but they get played with a lot. The story of the tortoise and the hare is misleading. It leaves out any consideration of steady hares. In a long race, the hare who can pace himself wins. Most hares do not pace themselves well. They get a fast start, but they become sidetracked.  Don’t let kids think it’s good to be a slow tortoise. It’s good to be a steady, eyes-on-the-goal, focused hare.

There is nothing wrong with being a tortoise. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.  This is an affirmation of the tortoise’s worldview. But it is adopted by the hares that plan to win the race, not just finish it.

If you are a tortoise, you rely on a thick shell. A thick shell slows you down. This is the price of safety. It is a very high price for not taking enough risks.  As young hares, tell your children to keep hammering away what interests them most.  That should keep them in good stead.

What seems to be random fates play an important factor in the lives of hares that get ahead in life … I believe we create our own luck, primarily by showing up for the race in life. By running the paces and putting in the bursts of energy, you’re there when amazing things happen.

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System-bucker management

Before I set out on my current micro multinational (my clients span across continents now) adventure, I did a couple years consulting stint at $412 M Percept Group, a 360 degree entertainment, communications and media major.  While playing an in-house investment banker diligencing and advising on M&A deals, I had the privilege of closest access to quite a bit of cross cultural, multi-national operational teams spread across its divisions (Film Production, Mainstream Advertising, Media planning, Sports & Celebrity Management, Fashion & Lifestyle, Web Ads) right from CEO, down. 

Like in every large company, there was abundant top-down mediocrity.  Some divisional CEOs were absolute caricatures.  But there were occasional creative brilliance that flashed and I kept tracking them, befriending them in the process. I did learn a lot from them. Eventually, I sensed what was so unique about these creative powerhouses.  I can share with you the list of qualities that stood out. They-

-         worked at their own pace, setting their own goals; 

-        never break for lunch on the hour; take short work breaks.

-         never worried `what others will think’  ; live with no signposts

-         hardly had any airs about them; were simple to the core.

-         were self-effacing; gave credit to every team member. 

But like Jack and Suzy Welch say in Business Week, “businesses aren’t museums.  You have to wield the occasional velvet hammer upon this non-conformist lot. Businesses exist not to showcase creative output but to capitalize on it. For that to happen, something has to give. And that something is the typical creative person’s underlying notion that he’s a free agent.”  Left to themselves, their disruptive pursuits will lead to organizational anarchy.  While it calls for no heavy handedness, an occasional reminder of authority will help them drink the enterprise Kool-Aid. 

I figure the trick to control these freaks is in tethering them to the stake while they upstart.  It was Vivek Paul (Ex-Wipro, currently partner at TPG) that gave this anecdote and it went like this –

“The first [lesson] I learned in the jungles of Bangalore, at an elephant camp. When you visit such a camp you see these gigantic elephants tethered with a small stake. I asked the trainer: ‘Why do they stay tethered when they could so easily pull up the stake?’  He told me: ‘Well, the elephant is tethered as a small calf; when it tries to pull up the stake, it learns it can’t do it … and it never tries again.’ That’s an amazing parable about how we always tend to underestimate ourselves. The lesson for me is: Don’t let self limitations hold you back.”

The lesson can wait. While managing creative devils that love to buck the system,  learn the art of tethering the calves.  Before taking up the hot seat, figure out the form of creative leadership that’s called for.

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What a week…

Had one helluva’ stress box for a week. Diligencing Indian companies with unbending UK consultants will give you anything but that (you have to understand and explain business processes on both sides – they come up with way too many why’s – before nodding in agreement).

First two days were hell. Then they acquiesced and unwounded as they realized things are just different, not so much to worry about. I asked them how they can do global business if they stay so stiff. They conceded it is much easier to do business anywhere but UK, where everything is questioned. They’ve become a victim of local context. So much so that almost half of the UK’s company directors and senior managers believe that even a plummy or posh upper-class accent is now a hindrance rather than a help when it comes to succeeding in business.  Earlier, in Britain, merely speaking with ‘the right accent’ was a prerequisite to rising in the business world.  They have now all but gone, although being an effective communicator is still paramount.

I was really surprised but then I could find some good reason. The rise of the UK’s self-made men and women, often from working-class backgrounds, such as BHS boss Philip Green or Ryan air’s Michael O’Leary, reflects the changing profile of the successful boss. These are people who aren’t afraid to speak their minds, and are proud to make a virtue of the fact that they have worked their way up from humble beginnings to positions of influence. In both cases though, they are better known for their forceful and charismatic personalities than for their class origins.

I might as well use this occasion to pay homage to Dame Anita Roddick, of Body Shop fame, pioneer of green capitalism and fair trade. By the time she sold the business last year to L’Oréal for £652m ($1.1 billion), of which she received £118m, Body Shop had 2,000 shops in 53 countries.  Farewell Anita, wherever you are…

The Duke of Wellington may have thought that the Battle of Waterloo was won on the playing fields of Eton, but today’s business leaders of U.K were clearly educated elsewhere…

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The celebrity CEO

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Blame it on scoop scarcity or dumb journalists. Business channels have a lot of weekend programs featuring many a mediocre CEO making “announcements” (and none claiming “execution”).  I’ve often racked my brains trying to figure out what makes this guy (for what he “will” do) newsworthy.  Some well wired spin doctor has clearly been at work. Watch it at your own risk.

I dug out this old article from Slate.com.  Excerpts -

The idea of the businessman as an outsized, even heroic, figure seemed like the legacy of a long-forgotten past when men like J.P. Morgan and William Randolph Hearst were still around. In fact, in 1982, Forbes magazine wrote, “Tycoons are fairly rare birds in today’s business world. We seldom hear of moguls.” Within just a few years, that had all changed, with business journalists turning every clever executive with a good idea into the next Henry Ford, and with the Rupert Murdochs, Sumner Redstones, and Donald Trumps of the world actively cultivating the “mogul” label.

Blackout the screens till we get our moguls…..